Going Into the Ugly Cry - The Wedding

Mixed emotions. I've it said before on this blog and I'm sure I'll say it again - I prefer my emotions straight up. Joy, sadness, fear, excitement...I'll take them one at a time thank you very much.

It was at the rehearsal that the enormity of what was about to happen hit me. Floored me. Sent me into spasms of memory and paroxysms of feelings.

I was barely holding it together and then they rehearsed the lighting of the unity candle. The song that was planned for this moment was The Luckiest by Ben Folds. Do you know it? Somehow I didn't. It was beautiful and fit Chris and Andra perfectly and totally caught me off guard and vulnerable.



I started sobbing. I had to jump up and go to the back of the room to wipe my eyes and gather myself.

Then...

We went to the rehearsal dinner.

I walked into the venue and was greeted by a dear, dear friend who I hadn't seen in 10 years. Darlene and her family had driven in from Colorado! Stunned and thrilled and overwhelmed, I cried again.

Then...

During the dinner people began telling sweet stories about the bride and groom. My sister in law set off my waterworks again with stories about Chris as a little boy. My mom was at another table, I glanced over and she dropped her head into her hands so that I wouldn't see her crying. That almost pushed me over the edge. The rest of the meal my mantra was, "don't look at my mom, don't look at my mom."

THEN...

The bride and groom got up to give gifts and say their thanks and here's where it got really bad...Chris cried.

Let me repeat this. Chris cried. It's been years since I've seen him cry. He sweetly thanked his friends and his family for everything that they had done and for being there for him and...he cried. Andra did a beautiful job of stepping in and finishing their thanks when it got to the point that he could barely go on.

That was the end of any semblance of self control. I was gone.

Let me just say that we are an ugly crying family. Especially me. Swollen eyes, runny nose, splotchy, discolored face. Bad, bad...very bad.

It was a sweet and beautiful evening marred only by the aftermath of the ugly cry.

Surprisingly and fortunately it was all out of my system by the actual ceremony. I was only appropriately teary.


My husband on the other hand...oh dear. That's him on the right struggling. He told me later that when he saw Chris watching Andra walk down the aisle that it finally hit him that his son, his buddy, really was all grown up.